Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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