There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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