It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
