That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Small penises have feelings too.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
