It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
