bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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