My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
