I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
