Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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