I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
