why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
