Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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