why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am available for nakedness
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
