Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
