We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
