is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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