he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
