Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
