and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
