Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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