Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
