we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Send help, water and tortillas.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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