What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
