Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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