dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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