You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
