rhymes with "ouble enetration"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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