they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
