im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
