I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
