would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
