Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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