The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We're using joints as your birthday candles
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
