i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
COCAINE IS GR8
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