East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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