You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
