i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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