rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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