Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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