I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
