That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I love having hate sex.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
