How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
love makes seman taste better
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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