Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
