I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
