im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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