my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
