I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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