why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
