normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
