Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
