Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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