You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
