I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
