oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He? As in you personified your dick?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
