I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
A bitchslap is in order.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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