There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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