don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize