He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
