this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
